Steiner 1
Abby Steiner
Mrs. Belden
Period 4
October 14, 2014
The Willow Tree
The cold waves of the pond splashed against my feet, and my toes dug into the thick sand. It was a cold night, and the wind pierced through my jacket like a thousand tiny knives. I hardly noticed.
My mind was numb. It had been ever since October 20, 2013. It was a year later, and it hadn't gotten any easier since then. My heart was still in as million pieces.
I looked up from the pond to see the willow tree. That stupid willow tree. It was beckoning me with its long, dead arms. The bark was still jagged and rough, the tree still dead. I walked over to it and ran my hand over the ridged tree back.
My mind was instantly taken back to a year ago.
It was a beautiful, spring Saturday night in Montana. I was sitting in my room listening to music when my mom walked in. She was wearing a beautiful blue sundress, my favorite one. She walked over to me and immediately the room was filled with the aroma of peppermint, her signature smell.
"Kara!" she yelled. I took my headphones out.
"Your father and I are leaving for downtown to go to dinner. We should be home no later than 11:00, but there's no need to wait up for us," she said.
"Have fun! Bye!" I called as she race out the door.
I spent the night typing my French essay and drinking as much coffee as possible, since the essay was due by midnight and I hadn't even started. Just as I finished, I glanced at my watch, and jumped back in shock. 11:30?! How had it gotten so late? I hand't even noticed while I was working.
I left a lamp on downstairs for my parents when they got home. I figured dinner was just running late; downtown was always busy on Saturdays. I climbed into my bed, pulled my cream comforter around me, and pulled out my book.
Another hour passed by.
I couldn't shake the feeling of worry in my stomach. It was a seed, growing more and more every minute. My parents were never late, and they were supposed to be back a hour and a half ago.
I dialed my moms cell phone, and waited for it to ring. Straight to voicemail. I tried my dads phone and the same thing happened. I climbed back into bed, trying not to let fear take over me.
10 minutes later, there was a pounding on the front door.
"Mom? Dad?" I called, looking through the peephole. A police officer met my eye.
"How can I help you?" I asked, opening the door, confusion and panic evident in my voice.
His face was a face I will never forget, filled with deep sorrow and pain.
"Miss... I have some news about your parents. They-" his voice caught in his throat, and he cleared it. I clenched my hands together to keep myself from shaking.
"Your parents were in a fatal accident tonight. As they were turning the bend around the pond to come home, the car caught on something on the road. They flew headfirst the will tree by the pond. I'm so sorry Kara. They didn't make it to the hospital in time." The sheriff said, bowing his head.
My mind went blank. I felt like I was going to throw up, and this new reality suddenly felt like a dream. My heart felt as if it were splitting into two pieces. I knew I had to get to that willow tree. I had to see that this wasn't true, that I was on some prank T.V. show. Anything was better than the truth.
The pond wasn't far from my house, and it took me three minutes to run there. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the tree.
It was almost split in half, with a huge hole in the middle. The bark was destroyed where the car used to be, ragged and spiked around the edges. The car and my parents were taken away from the scene. I walked over to the willow tree, hating it. I started sobbing uncontrollably, and wrapped my arms around the tree.
I snapped out of the memory, and saw my arms wrapper around the tree. I hadn't even noticed. I wasn't mad at the world anymore, but instead I wanted to happy things my parents had brought to this earth.
The gaping hole in the tree was healing. I held the tree tight, and gave my parents one last goodbye hug.
"I love you guys," I whispered, finally letting go of the willow tree.
I walked away from the tree, and started to walk back to my house. I turned around one final time, and saw that the willow tree had small, pink flower buds growing on it. It was starting fresh, starting a new life even with all its scars.
And so was I.
I dialed my moms cell phone, and waited for it to ring. Straight to voicemail. I tried my dads phone and the same thing happened. I climbed back into bed, trying not to let fear take over me.
10 minutes later, there was a pounding on the front door.
"Mom? Dad?" I called, looking through the peephole. A police officer met my eye.
"How can I help you?" I asked, opening the door, confusion and panic evident in my voice.
His face was a face I will never forget, filled with deep sorrow and pain.
"Miss... I have some news about your parents. They-" his voice caught in his throat, and he cleared it. I clenched my hands together to keep myself from shaking.
"Your parents were in a fatal accident tonight. As they were turning the bend around the pond to come home, the car caught on something on the road. They flew headfirst the will tree by the pond. I'm so sorry Kara. They didn't make it to the hospital in time." The sheriff said, bowing his head.
My mind went blank. I felt like I was going to throw up, and this new reality suddenly felt like a dream. My heart felt as if it were splitting into two pieces. I knew I had to get to that willow tree. I had to see that this wasn't true, that I was on some prank T.V. show. Anything was better than the truth.
The pond wasn't far from my house, and it took me three minutes to run there. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the tree.
It was almost split in half, with a huge hole in the middle. The bark was destroyed where the car used to be, ragged and spiked around the edges. The car and my parents were taken away from the scene. I walked over to the willow tree, hating it. I started sobbing uncontrollably, and wrapped my arms around the tree.
I snapped out of the memory, and saw my arms wrapper around the tree. I hadn't even noticed. I wasn't mad at the world anymore, but instead I wanted to happy things my parents had brought to this earth.
The gaping hole in the tree was healing. I held the tree tight, and gave my parents one last goodbye hug.
"I love you guys," I whispered, finally letting go of the willow tree.
I walked away from the tree, and started to walk back to my house. I turned around one final time, and saw that the willow tree had small, pink flower buds growing on it. It was starting fresh, starting a new life even with all its scars.
And so was I.
Hi! I really enjoyed the idea of this story! My favorite part of the story is when you described the willow tree in the beginning and how I perceived it rather than in the end. I also really enjoyed the part when she starts to get stressed about her essay, and you don't notice the parents leave. I though the conflict was going to be her struggling with her essay, not her parents. The beginning of the story hooked me because the imagery caught my attention. The end of the story is " satisfying" because it tied up all loose ends and summed up the story. Even though it ended with a sad ending, it left the reader with something to think about. The story is nicely organized and it didn't have any ideas that weren't summed up in the end. There were some punctuation and grammatical errors, but other than that the story was nicely written! I think the theme of the story is that you shouldn't take the time you do have for granted. You must be thankful for the time you do have. Good job!
ReplyDeleteSharda M
This story is really good! I liked how you are very descriptive, it made me feel kind of like I was there with the main character. I also enjoyed how you made the reader feel what Karal was feeling. When Karal realized how late it was you felt the same concern as Karal did wondering about their parents. Then when the sheriff broke the news about the parents, you felt the pain Karal felt. I also liked your ending with Karal starting to heal and using the willow to describe it. Some questions I have are; why was it Karals last time seeing the weeping willow? Why was Karal saying goodbye? The story is overall really good from beginning to end and I think others will enjoy your story.
ReplyDeleteDelaneyM
Hi Abby, this story was so good, It hooked me from the beginning to end. I loved how at then end she hugged the willow tree and that it made her have some kind of closure. I thought it was really good when she was so focused about her essay she didn't notice her parents leaving. Then later she realized it was starting to get really late and it made her nervous. Like sharda said a couple grammatical errors, but nothing big. I wish there was more to your story because I would definitely keep reading! great job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story! You described everything so well. I love that you use the willow tree as a symbol, I think that is an amazing idea and you did a really good job with explaining how it was important. You did a really good job building suspense for me. You made me wonder what was going to happen next. Your story was a flashback, you also foreshadowed with the willow tree very well. I do have some suggestions. You should describe what Kara is like a little more, I didn't really feel like I knew her. Other then that you did a really good job and I really like your story!
ReplyDeleteSally S
I loved your story it was so good loved the imagery you used and at the begging u had such an amazing hook the best one I have seen so far the only thing I would work on is the ending I was a bit confused you would only need 2 fix like 2 sentences and it would be perfect:)))!
ReplyDelete